Blog – Jesse's Website

Life Updates and more

Posted on October 4, 2020 by negativeflare

Yo guys, I wanted to give you guys an update as my life has become busier and busier. First off, I’m still working at my awesome job as a Lead Sys Admin. The Lord has really blessed me with this job, and I really can’t thank him enough for it. Secondly, I’ve got some better hardware for my Linux machine, here are the updated specs for it: https://pcpartpicker.com/user/negativeflare/saved/mBVwzy

Thirdly, I wanted to let everyone know that my relationship with my wife has grown to an amazing amount. We’ve really melded more and more together, and I couldn’t be happier. Now yes, my drive is still as crazy as ever, but I’m not going to worry about that.

Lastly, and sadly as well. I did loose my best friend Charles. Now before you freak out, no he didn’t die. He is however, no longer my friend due to he treated my wife one day. And on a side note, screw you Zach for saying that my wife was trying to take over and I was enabling her. You’re an idiot for thinking that “enabling” someone to do something is wrong. I swear you’ll never be able to get a girl with that mentality. And while I’m railing here, Charles you really need to wake up. You’re an awesome guy, but come on man, calling someone toxic? If I was so toxic to you man, why didn’t you just drop me as a friend? Why didn’t you address the things that you found to be so toxic? Bleh. I have questions that will never be answered.

Alright, I’m done ranting and raving. I’m still a little upset about that entire thing. Anyways, I’m heading to bed you guys. You’re always welcome to contact me. Peace out.

LEROYYY

Posted on April 30, 2020 by negativeflare

Hey Guys! Yes I’m still here lol. I haven’t died at all. Since getting my dream job in Nov of last year, everything has really been crazy. I was able to build me a better PC. Here are the specs:

CPU	Core i5-9600KF
RAM	Corsair DDR4-2133MHz 24GB
GPU	EVGA 1070TI Hybrid
GPU2	PNY 1070TI
Mobo	ASUS PRIME Z370-P

Another note, I will be upgrading the Watercooling solution I have right now very soon, along with a case upgrade, and a newer mobo.

Anyways, like I said things have been crazy. Wife and I have really been doing well. We’re both leaning on the Lord to help us through our everyday struggles. Sometimes its really hard. Other days, its alright.

On a sad note, my Ford Ranger’s engine block cracked a while back and sadly I am unable to drive it for a long distance without it overheating. Boy getting that thing home from work was really tough. On a good note though, the wife let me use our tax money to get me another truck. Its a 1999 Ford F250 Super Duty, with a 5.4L V8 Engine. And sadly, yes its an automatic. The main reason I went over to an automatic is due to my left leg. It has really started to give me issues. I recently even pulled a muscle in it (I think? lol).

I do want to say that I do slightly miss a certain person when I left my wife. But knowing that I couldn’t have the life I have now with her, it doesn’t make me regret being with her. Heh, in fact I have so much guilt from what happened with her that I refuse to ever do that sorta crap of leaving ever again.

Well, with that I am going to bed you guys. I’m glad that I was able to update you guys on a few things. If you geeks out there ever need anything, please don’t hesitant to reach out. I’m always on discord, just join my server: https://discord.gg/QdrdcfZ. Just look for Flare. I’m always there. Good night everyone and God Bless.

The Return…

Posted on August 27, 2019 by negativeflare

Yo Guys!

I’m finally back in North Carolina! The Wife and I have fixed mostly everything. We’re still working on getting a house and I was recently laid off from my Sat Tech job, so I’m back to job hunting. In the mean time, I’m working on doing stuff as a freelancer and what not.

Catch me in Drop.In if you’d like to talk to me!

Happiness And Love

Posted on April 14, 2019 by negativeflare

Hey guys, wanted to spill my heart here a little.

After getting back with my lovely wife, things have really started to look up. I’ve had a number of job offers in IT, I’ve been much happier. I stopped worrying about Maggi as well. I used to be paranoid about who Maggi was talking to and why she wouldn’t just be with me. When I finally said enough was enough, I really did learn that what I was doing was just looking for something in the wrong places. Now don’t get me wrong Maggi was an awesome woman, and she still is. I do sorta miss talking to her, but I know if I started talking to her again I might start up the feelings for her again. And I really shouldn’t do that. Mainly because I want to keep my marriage. I already messed up before, don’t wanna mess it up again.

The wife and I are doing so much more better that I really don’t know what the crap I was thinking when I left her. Most of the bad things that were going on when I left, were partly my fault. As my Dad says, it takes 2 to tango, and that goes for this as well.

All in all, as I sit here with my wife on the phone with me (her sleeping mind you), I realized that she has made me number one again. Apart from God of course. But she has made me number one again. She calls me when she has bad dreams, she strives to get my attention, she talks to me all the time. She’s always dying for me to cuddle her. See, I really wish I could have saw all of these things that she does for me and how much she cares before I left her.

Anyways, y’all have a good night. And remember, things aren’t always as they seem to be. Sometimes you need to look deeper, and put yourself in other’s shoes.

Back to where I’m supposed to be

Posted on March 16, 2019 by negativeflare

Well first off let me say that I’m retarded. As you guys probably have read in my last post, I left my wife and tried to start a new life with another girl. Well, that didn’t work out at all. The girl was awesome and such, I just couldn’t get over the fact that the Lord himself was stopping me from divorcing her. Now that’s not bad a bad thing honestly, because we all know what the Bible says about the Lord hating divorce.

So I decided to get back with my wife and work everything out. I started compromising more like I was supposed to and a lot of other things as well. Tabbi and I have worked mostly everything out, and we’re working on getting back together physically and moving back into a home. She’s having a real hard time with her parent’s as they don’t approve since I did the dirty with the other girl. At this point I’m just hoping for the best and I’m leaning on the Lord for as much help as possible.

Anyways, onto the good stuff. Recently, I’ve gotten involved with a gaming community with my friend Charles. I’m mostly the Server IT guy since I don’t normally play all the games that they do. We have many games that we’re play, if you’re interested goto http://dropin.cc, and check them out. Wave at me if you wanna, we’re on discord 😀

Huge Update

Posted on October 8, 2018 - November 30, 2018 by negativeflare

Hey Guys…

So a lot has went on in the past few months since I posted last. I have recently separated from my wife of 4-5 years. I was a bit sad about, and I still am a little. She was at one point my everything. As the years went by, she changed into someone that I don’t even know now. She changed into a woman that literally isn’t Tabbi. And till this day, I don’t know what happened or why she changed like this. I know I have a changed a little bit, but not in a bad way I thought? I’m not even sure anymore. Anyways, a little over a week ago now, I left her. I moved back home, and I do plan on eventually getting a divorce from her. I have tried many, many, MANY times to fix this marriage. But to no avail at all. In the last few weeks, she desperately tried to keep me from leaving. It was like she knew that I wanted to leave and that I was unhappy. I told her many times that I was unhappy, and I didn’t think that the marriage was going to work out due to her lacking of input in the marriage. She stopped helping me around the house, she started becoming more and more lazy. It got so bad, that when she had hurt her foot recently, she decided that she was going to completely rely on the injury as a “crutch” for she wouldn’t have to ANYTHING around the house at all. She even asked me to take off her socks and shoes one day while I was at work. (I work at home btw). I’m just so done with the thing, it makes me sad that it had to end like this. But there’s no going back about it at all. I can’t revive that marriage. I shouldn’t get angry at someone that claims that they love me and still does stupid stuff. I shouldn’t get angry at all at my SO if everything is ok between us.

So in the end of all of this, I’m moving on and going to start over. I have to start over. I can’t be angry all the time, I can’t be wanting to hurt someone. That’s just NOT like me. My nickname maybe Flare. But I sure as well shouldn’t flare up at my SO like that.

I’m not dead yet…

Posted on August 9, 2018 - August 9, 2018 by negativeflare

Wow so I’m really lazy as of late. So recently there has been tons of things going on.

First off, my wife has hurt her foot and it has really been hurting her a lot.

Secondly, I’ve been moved to another team at work and have been promoted back to LT (aka level 1.5).

Thirdly, the new second of the website hasn’t come to be due to me being ultra busy taking care of my wife and working super hard.

Lastly, I have started a new community along with FlareCraft. It is a Terraria server.

I will be giving more updates soon

New Section of the website!

Posted on June 12, 2018 by negativeflare

Hey guys! I’ve recently started taking notes at church, and I got the idea of putting them up on my website. So stay tuned for that new section!

Updates!

Posted on June 7, 2018 by negativeflare

Holy moly! A lot has happened since I last posted. Here are some of those things! First off I got me another computer. It’s another home built PC. Here are the specs:

Motherboard	ASUSTeK COMPUTER INC. H61M-C
CPU	Intel(R) Core(TM) i3-3240 CPU @ 3.40GHz
RAM	6GB DDR3

This is my new desktop, I have taken my old desktop and make it my work machine now.

On another topic, I will be going on vacation to Dollywood at the end of this month. I’ll be gone for about 4 or so days. I can’t wait for it, I’m kinda burned out from work, and it’ll be a nice get away from work to refresh myself and enjoy myself with the wife.

With that being said, FlareCraft has been put on hold due to hardware constraints, I have a had a few people jump on there and have really enjoyed it, but I need the time and the money to actually throw more RAM into the server, and at the moment I just don’t have that kinda money right now. Once I do have the money and time, I will be throwing more RAM and a better HDD/SSD into the machine to make it a WHOLE lot better.

I also have some other good news as well, my friend Mike (who is also an Admin of FlareCraft) has informed me that he will be moving to NC next year. This is an awesome thing for me, because I don’t have many “in person” friends down in here my state. I have plenty of friend down in my home state of SC, but not here in NC. I’ll be doing my best to help him out in anyway I can to make him feel at home here in NC. Wish me luck on that guys.

I have also upgraded my keyboard as of late. I finally got me a keyboard that I am happy with and it even has RGB! Its a Logitech G910, and its an amazing keyboard. Its got the Romer keys just like my keyboard for work does. My work keyboard is also a Logitech G series keyboard as well. I think its a G413 CARBON, but don’t quote me on that one.

Welp, I think its time for me to head to bed guys. Y’all be good, and be safe. Remember I am always here if you need to talk to me. Just shoot me an email, or message me on discord, or even Telegram. You know how to find me.

Back to my old job

Posted on May 11, 2018 - May 18, 2018 by negativeflare

Hey guys! I have some good news! I have went back to my old job. It’s a lot less stressful and I enjoyed it much more than when I was doing PC Repair.

On another note, I have talked a little with one of the other admins of FlareCraft and it looks like I am going to have to find the RAM that I need for the server somewhere else.

As for me, I’ve been doing alright the past few weeks, like I said before it’s been really stressed out at work. My friend Kayla, who works with me has had it bad as well. We’ve both agreed that the training wasn’t the best in the world and they could have done better on it. The main reason I have left it and went back to my old job is because they had me doing customer service related things. Such as taking someone’s bill and discussing said bill with them. And as for me, I don’t like doing stuff like that. I’m just not good at it at all.

Anyways guys, I wanted to give you guys an update on what was going on in this geek’s life. Hope you guys have a good day.